(Don't) Look At Me!

Eye contact. I, for one, am a big believer of looking a person in the eye whenever you talk to them. My mother is in full agreement, but my father, on the other hand, believes it is only absolutely necessary in business dealings. To him all other situations are context dependent, but for the most part it's a good idea to look people in the eye.

About a week ago, I was in the backseat of Giancarlo's mother's car. His sister was riding shotgun and his grandmother was seated next to me. His grandmother had just finished an interview so she had lots of details to share and his sister was updating me on the latest happenings, but while I was listening I felt like something was off--unnatural. Then it hit me. Neither his sister or his grandmother were looking at me while we were sharing a conversation. Both looked straight ahead at the road, and no matter who was talking both neither one of them turned.

Don't get me wrong, I don't expect the driver to maintain eye contact while driving. While in the car with my family, it's normal for the front seat passenger to turn and speak to those in the back seat and the driver to flash a glance towards them in the rear view mirror.

A few days later I told Giancarlo about the experience and we couldn't help but laugh. It was now clear as day how his eye contact avoiding skills and my constant need for eye contact developed.

If eye contact is your slice of pie or maybe you're interested in reading about personal space, sociolinguistics, storytelling and other anthropological goodies visit Cultural Anthropology: Language and Communication.